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Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused As Children, by Eliana Gil
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This much-needed book pinpoints the typical problems abused children experience when they become adults. The information is presented in a friendly and thorough manner for victims and professionals.
- Sales Rank: #40583 in Books
- Published on: 1988-02-01
- Released on: 1988-02-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .25" w x 5.38" l, .25 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 96 pages
Review
"The best book available to help survivors cope and understand." -- Dan Sexton, Director, Childhelp's National Child Abuse Hotline
From the Back Cover
"The best book available to help survivors cope and understand." -- Dan Sexton, Director, Childhelp's National Child Abuse Hotline
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Mis-titled, and overpriced
By Amazon Customer
What the book does well is help people understand that what they experienced in their family of origin WAS abuse. It's not them. That they are not alone. Help is available. At $9.99 the "book" is grossly overpriced. It is closer to a pamphlet or an outline. The language is at a Grammer school level, complete with larger type and illustrations. As the book states, there are only questions.. no answers.. few details.. And little about what to do next. I feel the book was mis-titled, and that it is not a good value for the money.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Dedicated to all the survivors of child abuse.
By Happyslapper
Read this book in one sitting. When I first opened it, and observed all the pictures in it, I thought to myself "this is a book for children". Not so. This is for all survivor's of child abuse. And, all types of child abuse. The author deals with verbal, physical, and sexual abuse, and only stresses reading this book as an adjunct to professional help.
We raise our children with self-esteem, I believe, because the world knocks us all around enough. Some children were raised believing, because of the verbal and physical (and/or sexual) assaults by their parents that they are not literally fit to walk the face of the earth. The author brings out the long-range ramifications of this abuse; detached semi-permanent relationships, marrying, literally an abuser not unlike one's parents, alcohol and drug abuse to ease the pain, and the list goes on and on. She describes the defensiveness and the "building walls" of those who were abused and how to break down those walls on the road to wholeness.
There are many good survival tips in this book. I do stress, that it should be used in conjunction with professional help. Words hurt, straps and belts hurt, and could leave scars for a lifetime which can manifest themselves in anger, misplaced rage, and a host of other maladaptive behaviors.
The one thing, I think the author failed to mention is after taking (or during) these initial steps to recover from abuse, pastoral care with an eye towards forgiveness is also helpful. Most clergy are trained these days in counseling people who are survivors of abuse. Forgiveness is the ultimate tribute not to your abuser, but towards yourself in putting the past behind you and moving forward. All in all, this is a highly recommended book.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Easy read for a difficult subject
By Trish
If you are a survivor or know a survivor this book can help explain some of the strange feelings and unexpected difficulties that may be suddenly popping up out of the blue or that have been festering and worrying you for years. I was first introduced to this book by my therapist after I suddenly stopped being able to function at work. I had no idea why... I had been out of the abuse cycle for several years and had never let it interfere with my work before but suddenly I was stuck. While the book by itself did not solve my issues, it did help me understand why they had suddenly popped up. I would recommend any survivor to read this book but to also read the webpages that come up when you google search "PTSD and the brain"; it really helps to know the effects that events way in the past have had permanently on your body and brain so that you can heal yourself.
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